Crazy Lady

It's official. I have gone running crazy!  Today, I set out to do a five-mile run using the local route which means two laps. By the end of the first lap, I was out of steam, so to speak. I was really hungry, despite having had my breakfast less than two hours previous. I made a decision to quit which is something that I have rarely done on this campaign. I came in home, grabbed some scones from the freezer, heated them up, smothered them in jam, had water and thought that's that. I fiddled around with e-mails, but before I knew what I was doing, I was out the door to do the second lap. I just couldn't let it go. You see, I had already swopped an eight-mile run on this week's schedule for a five mile. Skipping out of two or three more miles today didn't strike me as a good option. I did think about it. I took into consideration last week's exceptionally long run, my levels of tiredness all week and so on. Then, I thought, I need to train myself to run tired too. And that's how I found myself on the second lap within the hour. It was slow, but it was fine. Not too hellish. My expectations of myself are low at the moment.

It has been a funny week. Teaching is over for the year. Exams have started. Corrections are coming in. There are publishing and planning deadlines for the end of May. I need a new routine. That effects everything ... running, sleeping, productivity of work, even eating. Haruki Murakami in What I Talk About When I Talk About Running comments, "To keep on going, you have to keep up the rhythm. This is the important thing for long-term projects. Once you set the pace, the rest will follow. The problem is to get the flywheel to spin at a set speed - and to get to that point takes as much concentration and effort as you can manage (p.5)."  That is where I am right now, trying to get the flywheel to spin. I totally agree with him, once you get going, the projects themselves will  dictate a pace.  Until then, it's furrowed brows and scrabbling.  Clearly, I'm not at the beginning phase with the marathon project. It's just to be careful to protect my running space as I change my work routine. I have enjoyed running in the evenings this week, it's a bit like a treat at the end of the day.

I hope that I didn't overdo it with the long run of last week. As I ran yesterday's five-miler, I recognised my 'touchiness' and 'reactivity' during the week as that of an over-stretched child. I didn't feel it  in my muscles, just in a desire to give space to 'stuff'. Yesterday, I had some regular, honest chat with good friends. By the end of the day, I felt more grounded. I am looking forward to a gentle weekend.