Yesterday' Long Run

Thanks for the good wishes folks. Thanks to Rhetorician too for a pair of runners donated courtesy of her friend. It's the equivalent of being given a gift of a hundred euro. Perfect size, never worn and my brand!
I am enjoying the training , but want to think in a serious/systematic way about the end stage of the marathon. I do not want to get as low as the last mile of yesterday with six more miles to go.
Having done the maths, I think that yesterday's run was probably eighteen miles which I did at a 6:13km pace. I could live with that pace on Marathon Day.  I would like to do it in the four hours, but accept now that that may be difficult. I had mapped out my run on Friday evening using Mapmyrun and I also had the app on my phone on Saturday morning which maps out the route and time as I go, but the app crashed (unbeknownst to me for awhile) around the 7-mile mark as can happen and so I was left a little unsure of the route I had originally calculated. I decided to play it safe and just circle the park twice. I had already begun the route with a 3km on Chesterfield Ave (not Conyngham Road as I said in text to Rhetorician!) and I finished with another 3km down Chesterfield Ave. 
The park is great. The variety of landscape, the quietness from traffic and all the exercisers make it a great place for those long runs. Also, it takes me off the concrete/tarmac and so is better for my joints.
I won't dwell on the details of the long run. My mind is keener to consider the 'brushing against the wall' experience in the last mile. It was exceptionally warm for April. I had water to begin with. I took more water from No.1 when I met him, but actually ran out of it in the last two to three miles. I used two gel packs, but for the second pack I could have done with more water to wash it down. I don't think that I got it into my system really. I lost power on the last hill that I did (around Knockmaroon Hill) and had to walk and, for the first time in years, found it really hard to get the motion going again, although I did. The struggle began there, I just got 'heavier/stiffer/weaker', hard to describe. It also became hard to think. The feelings were also peculiar ... like a lost child or one who needed protection, utterly vulnerable. That's what the tears were about this time. I don't want to be melodramatic, but the cruelty of it was battling with the determination to keep going - and that is more articulate than I was, at the time.  Tears in the past have been disbelief that I could actually do a half-marathon. It seemed impossible that I could run that much. One time, after the 15-mile run, I know that there was release in it. Stuff was being left go.
Yesterday, I was quite 'weakish' for about twenty minutes post run. Once the water, banana and chocolate (I'd have put anything into my stomach in any combination!!!) hit in, I was fine. The point is. I don't really want that happening (at least that soon) on the day of the Race. Plan: take the gels more systematically. Make sure to drink plenty. Maybe, cut back on the bit of leaping and galloping I did when I got a surge at the midpoint yesterday. That said, I am going to experiment with the gel and hydration and a bit of gallopping (if I can) on my next long run, though. If I still run out of energy (quite literally), I will have to reconsider pace.  And, even though I have never done so much reading about running in my life. I need to consolidate and read more on the whole 'wall' thing. I think, secretly, most of us want to experience it, a rite of passage, if you like. But 'hang it', I really do want to get to that finish line.
This post is probably most boring for non-runners - sorry! I just need to think a bit. The Wall is quite simply the body reacting to depleted (near empty) stores of glycogen - the fuel in the muscles and liver that I have been building as I train over the last few months.  We can only carry enough to get us to about 20 miles, maybe, the professionals can build to more. After that, you have to rely on brute strength and determination - hence the cruelty feeling, perhaps. That's where I find Once a Runner, kind of helpful. They talk about the pain, fatigue, brain fog and so on. However, they recognise it, grow familiar with it and learn not to fear it. It's only pain that they have not experienced before that alarms them. I think I experienced that in my own small way last week as I tucked into the hill in Kerry. I was less afraid of the tugs in my muscles, knowing that there was more in there and they would ease once I got level. Maybe, the distances runs of the coming weeks are designed to familiarise my system (body and mind) with the fatigue of the post 18 mile stage of the race and to trust there is more there after it. 
Yip. I was quite tired for the day afterwards. I did another new thing though. I had a cold bath! It worked wonders, was most invigorating. I should probably have had another today. I did walk 5kms today, but had a very leisurely day otherwise. Jeepers, I have just realised that I am hungryish again. At the moment, I really do have hollow legs.